


Breathe, I’m Here

by TheWhoufflePrincess



Series: Whouffle & Whouffaldi One-Shots [9]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, whouffle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 07:55:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13430313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWhoufflePrincess/pseuds/TheWhoufflePrincess
Summary: [Warning, mentions of rape.]Clara went to a simple house party for the end of the year. She went, but left with more than she bargained for...





	Breathe, I’m Here

**Author's Note:**

> an old one shot based on some experiences. well, my experiences were never as vivid as this. but it is something. thank you for reading. keep in mind, I made this last year or the year before that.

I can't breathe.

The fire that burns in my lungs won't go away. I feel so...dirty. So uncomfortable. The hand on my waist, pulling me closer and closer.

I feel so uncomfortable, I don't want him to touch me, but he forces me in the room, alone with him.

Soon, the clothes were off.

Francis was a nice man. He was a great history teacher, a very detailed guy. I always suspected him to like me, but I just wasn't into him.

Francis was anyone but the one person I loved the most.

I shouldn't have gotten drunk. It was a simple teacher party, to signal the end of the year. I knew he had a thing for me, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. I tried pushing him away, but he was stronger than I. My words were slurred, but the word 'no' was so obvious.

I feel so stupid. I shouldn't have allowed him to bring himself close to me. I'm an adult. I exposed myself to this. I should have known.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as it occurred.

It hurt so much.

I thought I would have a choice in whether or not I wanted my virginity to be taken away.

I guess not.

But I never thought it would be like this.

I didn't want this.

I never wanted this.

* * *

I wake up with the taste of sandpaper in my mouth. Lips dry, I can hear the snoring softly coming from the other side of the bed. I scramble to get my clothes from the floor, feeling the need to burn my clothes, but I couldn't. I get dressed and walked out the door. I see my co-worker, Janice in the kitchen, making toast and stirring a cup of coffee. She senses me appear, even if I don't want her to.

"Morning Clara!" She greeted, "You and Francis-" She looked at my expression and I think she understands, as her own expression falls. "Clara? Did something happen?" I just look like shit.

I never want to hear Francis' name ever again.

"Can you...drive me home?" Janice was the host of the party, but she wasn't into drinking. She seemed sober enough if she did anyway.

"I- yeah. Let me just grab my keys." Janice said, taking the keys from the hook. "Clara-"

"Please." She nodded solemnly, getting out of the house with me beside her. She unlocked her car, allowing me to open the passenger seat and sit in there quietly. She goes to the driver's seat, starting the engine as she puts on her seatbelt.

After a few moments, Janice breaks the silence.

"I'm going to kick his ass or report him for this." Janice said, frowning as she hits the accelerator harder in the quiet neighborhood.

"Don't."

"Why not?! I can see it in your eyes Clara. He did something he wasn't supposed to do." Janice said. She took a deep breath, trying to compose herself. "Please, Clara, I'm just looking out for you. I'm so sorry, I'm just...I should have never invited him. He's a fucking creep. I would have-"

"Don't."

It was a quiet ride after that. Janice clearly looked concerned, but I couldn't will myself to speak anymore. I wanted to assure her that I will work the things out myself but...I don't think I can.

I felt so unclean. I wanted to scrub my body until I could feel clean again.

But I know I won't receive that feeling anymore.

* * *

I sit in the shower, allowing the cold drops to hit my skin. I can't will myself to do much. The Doctor wouldn't be coming until later today, as usual. I won't see any of my co-workers until the end of summer.

I don't want summer to end.

I need to get up, but it's so hard to will myself to do so. I don't want this. I hate feeling hopeless. But it's all I can feel. I frown, clutching my legs closer to me.

"Clara!" The Doctor calls, earlier than I expect. "Are you in there?"

"Y-Yeah." I manage to say. He can't see me like this, so hopeless.

"I'll wait in your living room!" He's so chipper. Must have a new adventure for me, but it's so hard to will myself into moving. After a few attempts, I get up and turn the water off. I already tried to clean myself enough. I stare at the mirror, eyes watery.

The lower half of my body still stung as I slipped on the bathrobe and walked to my room quickly. I avoided any sort of eye contact with the Doctor, who was very interested with what was on the telly.

I wore a pair of jeans and a yellow blouse. I couldn't really care less on how I looked. I put on some makeup as well, quickly drying my hair. I needed to look convincing.

I can't let him worry, it's just...not fair to bring my personal problems into that situation. He's had many things happen in his long life. I had no right to trample on the happiness he derives from the adventures. I take one good look at myself in the mirror and try a smile.

"You can do this. This is the Wednesday for you and him." I murmur to myself, taking a deep breath. I walk out, getting into the TARDIS. "I need to just get through this." I murmured to myself.

"Alright Clara, you got two options! Fish men in the Pacific Ocean or traveling in the Bermuda Triangle! Take your pick, we'll probably do the other next Wednesday." He said, messing with some dials. I smile softly, despite the bad events before this. He made it better, even if it was a marginal amount.

"Hmm...The Bermuda?" I suggest and his eyes twinkle in excitement as he looks at me.

"I knew you'd choose that!" He responds, doing a full 360° then priming the TARDIS. I only lean against the railing, watching him carefully.

I love him so much, for everything.

I wish I could tell him what's wrong.

* * *

We backed ourselves in the corner, seeing the creatures come closer to us. They were fish men, but mutated to something worse. So that's where all the men and women disappeared to after traveling through the Bermuda.

"Alright, um..." The Doctor scanned the surroundings, his sonic being the only source of light in this miserable oily place. We just had to land onto a cruise ship that was still in the process of sinking into the oil infested waters. I could feel the creature snake an arm around my waist, trying to pull me closer.

Just like Francis.

"There's a hatch here, come on Clara!" The Doctor called for me, but I couldn't move.

"H...el...p..." The fish man says, "Th...e...devi...ce...tu...rn...it...off.." He must have been referring to the large device we saw in the island in the middle through the windows, but my mind couldn't process anything. I was frozen, the hand too reminiscent of the events of last night. It was like I was in two scenarios at once, one of Francis...touching me and the other of this hellhole. The Doctor grabs my hand before the fish man could get any closer, pulling me away from the oily room.

I inhale fresh air and see holes of sunlight peeking from the clouds. The Doctor shut the hatch and I sink to my knees, the memory fresh in my mind. I'm shaking. So hard.

"Clara?" He asks, making sure the hatch is closed. He bends down to me and tucks a stray hair behind my ear. "Are you alright? You're crying."

"I..." I can't. I just can't. My façade is slowly cracking and I can't help it. Please, take me away.

"We can take a break first, do you want to do that?" He asks, "Clara. Please. Look at me."

I look up, feeling the tears falling. He looked concerned, so concerned. I can't answer him.

"I'll get you up." He lifts me up bridal style slowly, careful to hold me close to him. "We're going back into the TARDIS. I'll land on the island we saw. We'll have time to...take a break."

I can't help but continue to cry. I'm not making a single noise, but the tears won't stop. That hand...it was too similar. He takes me into the TARDIS and quickly used the controls in one hand, despite holding me still. The TARDIS complied to his request, moving to the island.

Afterwards, he started to lead me through the hallways in silence. I glance up and see him with a face of grimace, the mirth in his face gone. He stops at a door and it opens, revealing the library. In the middle, there lay a sitting area, where we often spent our times together when adventures weren't a thing. He placed me down and he sat beside me, holding me close. It was peaceful. But it wouldn't stop the tears.

"Clara, what's wrong? You've never...cried like that. Not on an adventure like this." I shake my head in response and he nods solemnly. "I won't pressure you. Just know that I will be here for you. Just...you're going to have to tell me what's wrong before I can do anything." I nod slowly, leaning towards him. He made me feel at ease. I just wanted to close my eyes and never wake up.

"My co-worker." I manage to say, after a few minutes of complete silence and the Doctor tracing symbols on my hand. "He..."

"What did he do?" He urged. He probably knows already, but he needed to hear it from me.

"He raped me, at the house party I went to last night. It was just a simple house party to mark the end of the year." I chuckled nervously, the mirth from my laughter clearly missing as I recalled the event. His attention was all on me. "He touched me. He brought himself onto me." I look up to him, seeing all the color drain from his face as he listened intently. "I couldn't force him off, I was too drunk. He was too drunk. He was too strong." I felt hot tears fall again. I cursed myself over my weakness. 

"Clara..." He murmurs, his voice trailing off. If he was going to say anything else besides my name, he stopped the thought. He only kissed my forehead, continuing to draw the symbols. He broke the silence again after mulling over my words.

"Do you know if you're..." He paused, trying to say the word without taking it the wrong way. "Pregnant?"

"No...I...I don't know." I respond and he nods. I don't even want to be pregnant. Not like this. My life is just only beginning, in all technicalities.

My life with the Doctor has only just begun, really.

"We can find that out. There's a future I have been to where they have that technology." He says, "But we'll go whenever you're comfortable. We can come back to this adventure another time."

"No, I can take care of myself, I'll be fine-,”

"Clara." He says sternly, looking at me carefully, as if trying to find something in my expression. "I care for you. So, so, so, so much. You don't deserve to go through this. An adventure is nothing if your security and comfortability is in danger. Please, just let me take care of you."

"Okay." I finally say.

* * *

It only took a matter of time before the procedure was over. It appears that I wasn't, and wouldn't be. A sight of relief escaped my lips.

We leave the futuristic land. The Doctor's concern wouldn't leave his eyes, I could see that. Was it because of how helpless I looked?

"It wasn't that bad, now was it?"

"Maybe I just need to rest at my apartment." I say and he nods.

"I could stay at your apartment, protect you-,”

"Doctor, I'll be fine." I say, but I know it won't keep him at bay. He nods anyway, but I have a feeling he'll be standing outside my apartment or something. It was a silent ride afterwards, but he wouldn't let go of my hand, making patterns with his thumb.

* * *

He parked in my living room, refusing to move it. I sighed, deciding that it would be best to just let him be. I changed into some pajamas and cleaned my face. My makeup was terrible as it was, but the futuristic women didn't judge as they prodded around my body. I look at the mirror again. I looked tired, so tired.

I was just about to grab some fish fingers, custard, avocados, and some toast and ask the Doctor to watch the telly or something with me when I heard the door. Visitors at ten pm? That was new.

I walked over and opened the door, shocked to see Francis, wine bottle in hand. He looked drunk again. Was this how he was during the summer? Drinking to his heart's content? Was the man I knew in school just a façade?

"Heyyyyyyyyy, Clara-darling!" Francis says, slurring his words. "I'm here for round two babe." I shut the door on him, but his foot managed to stop it. I can't let him in. No way. I don’t want him here. Go. Go, get out!

"Get out Francis!" I yell, trying to slam the door on him. But he was strong, drunk or not. He was buff and was able to push me back. I stumbled to the floor and started to back up. I couldn't let him touch me, I couldn't. I should have just asked the Doctor to stand by me, I should have just let him stay. I feel my throat hitch. I need him.

"No, I'm here for my second round, Clara-darling. We had some mind-blowing sex." He held a sinister smirk. I backed up to the TARDIS. "I had to get Janice's phone to find your address. Did you know she doesn't even put a password on it? If some student found it, oh, the interesting things they'd find." He inched closer, a lopsided smile on his face, similar to last night. I began to tremble uncontrollably.

"Doctor!" I call, unable to back up any further. If he was watching, I was sure he could hear me. In seconds, the TARDIS doors opened and the Doctor came out.

"Clara, I was going to-" His eyes slowly panned down to the scene in front of him. I suppose he wasn't watching, just perfect timing. "Who is he?"

"Woah, Clara has a boyfriend! I had no idea. Sorry about that..." Francis started to back up now, chuckling nervously. Was he afraid of him? The Doctor didn't look menacing, or was it just because I couldn't see him properly, only at a side view? Maybe he had a menacing look. I wasn't sure, but I looked back at Francis.

"Francis, get out." The Doctor's eyes narrowed at the mere mention at Francis' name. He helped me up, staring at the man who suddenly grew quiet, as the Doctor loomed over him by several inches.

"Clara, go back into the TARDIS." He ordered. I considered staying, but there was no point. I slipped back into the TARDIS and the Doctor closed the door. I ran towards the console.

"Do you have cameras outside? Can I see what they're doing?" A monitor switched to a live screening of what was happening outside. The Doctor pinned Francis on the wall. How was he so strong? He only really ran from enemies and Francis was pretty strong on his own. The female teachers often talked about how he worked out on the weekends.

"How dare you come here, drunk, trying to touch her again?!" He asked. I could only see Francis' expression, the color and mirth drained from his face. Francis was still drunk, but he straightened up at the Doctor's shout. It was terrifying. "She has everything so many others don't. You just want to go and ruin her life? That's not fair. You don't have the right to do that. I'll give you one warning. Never, ever, come back. I will come for you."

"What was your name? Doctor something? Alright, alright." Francis said, "I'll even transfer from the school if you want me to. Just...relax. What type of taste does Clara even have, jeez..."

"It's ridiculous, humans do these things. They don't want to just be peaceful. They have to kill, rape, all these things...it's just ridiculous." He looked at Francis and I wish I could see the look on the Doctor's face, "Clara is worth so much more than you'll ever be. I doubt you'd throw your life away for one person, without second guessing. I doubt you'd die a million times just for someone to live. I doubt you'd do any of these things. In comparison to you, a man who just finds pleasure in drinks and sex. Don’t come back here. I will find you and if you don’t like me now, you won’t like me later.” The Doctor released him and Francis scurried away. He sighed in frustration and walked back into the TARDIS. I moved the monitor away.

"He's not going to bother you for a while." The Doctor said, massaging his upper arm muscle. He looked tired.

It took me a moment, but I finally took in what just happened.

I took in how close he was. How I could smell the hint of cologne on Francis' jacket as he inched closer and closer to me, planning on once again to touch me and rape me. I feel more hot tears come out of my eyes and the Doctor pulls me into his chest, allowing me to cry into the lapels of his jacket. He smelled nicer than Francis. He rested his chin on the top of my head, whispering sweet nothings.

"I...I don't want you to be hurt. That's it. It's one to be hurt during an adventure, another to be hurt in the real world, where it's your life, where you're supposed to be able to choose." He frowned, rubbing my back as I sobbed intently, having difficulty breathing at the same time. I couldn't thank him enough. I couldn't say how much I love him for being here. The tears were just too overwhelming.

"Breathe, I'm here. I'll always be here...my Clara..."


End file.
